Just finished facilitating an ISP Debrief - 11 students talking about their experiences conducting fieldwork in the last month. I realized I haven't been in a discussion the entire semester.
I can still do it.
In fact, I kept pretty quiet after presenting some context about why we would want to do some debriefing as a group, and planted a general start up question, "What were some significant moments for you in the past month?" The students talked for just over two hours - speaking to each other, commenting, commiserating, sharing moments that they felt were significant. They talked about gaining trust (what methods were helpful, and were they ethical i.e. language learning, helping in the kitchen, spending time with their families and newly made friends), talked about how it felt to encounter other 'tourists' and feel much more culturally appropriate, concepts of home, identity, whether or not the US has a culture and if so, what is it?
I directed them a bit when they were getting away from focusing on the
what, so what, now what of the actual experience, but rather drifting off into metaphorical analysis of whether or not experience dictates reality.
I also stepped back in to ask them, "What was the most challenging piece of the last month." The conversation got a little negative. I said something clever about how part of the skill developing has to do with putting all the experiences (individually and collectively) in the middle and taking a step back to look at everything from an 'objective' angle. Not taking things too personally. Then we finished up with talking about how they see this experience as relevant to the remainder of their school career, and their lives. They gushed about how it wasn't the 'research' but the life experience which made all the difference. The space helped them identify confidence and passion to continue their work.
They thanked me at the end - first for creating the space for them to process about their experience, and then for listening. For planting open-ended questions and expecting honest responses. For being a good facilitator.
It's not about me, it's about them processing their experience to get to the next place in their journey with new knowledge. But it felt wonderful to be in that role again. I had lost my own confidence and passion in the fact that I am okay at interacting with people and students. That there's not something wrong with me and therefore I should stay far away from them. Maybe some of that has been restored this afternoon.
Though, the processing of MY learning experience this semester would dictate that it's important to function from a place of humility. There's no right way to do something. Sometimes when someone projects that there indeed IS a right way, or if someone perceives that someone else thinks there is a right way to do something and there is no agreement, it creates lots of conflict. I finish this afternoon gratefully, and humbly.
I can be a teacher, I think. I can guide others to finding their truths. maybe.
